Love sucks...

Well, I talked to Chipmunk about what I did with Ebon. It seems we are still together, but I don't think he trusts me very much. At least he is trying. I mean, I don't blame him, but hey...Oi, this journal is an obsession for me or something...either that or I'm REALLY bored...probably bored...But this is our conversation. I can't decipher most of it anymore, I'm too damned tired. Anyone else care to comment and try to understand it?Chipmunk: hey what's up?PrincessKadar: oh...hi...PrincessKadar: you off early tonite?Chipmunk: actually I was with Jamila for a while. she came over at 7:30. I was napping for a while before thenChipmunk: tomorrow I won't be so luckyPrincessKadar: ahChipmunk: how are you?PrincessKadar: read my LJ and you might understandPrincessKadar: i hacked my friend's computer todayPrincessKadar: then i watched rocky horror with ebon...doing all the audience participationPrincessKadar: that was cool...Chipmunk: sounds like a fun timePrincessKadar: um..yeh...thats what it was...Chipmunk: good...PrincessKadar: http://www.livejournal.com/users/darkbeethoven/PrincessKadar: sorry, that most recent entry is why i wasnt talkingPrincessKadar: you there?Chipmunk: I'm looking at your sitePrincessKadar: ohChipmunk: but I'm losing consciousness as well so maybe I'm half herePrincessKadar: i cant lose consciousnessChipmunk: cool. how's that working for you?PrincessKadar: i just cant sleep, thats allPrincessKadar: i have no job, no money, and no life...whats the point of sleep? =^.^=Chipmunk: no life? wasn't Ebon just around earlier?PrincessKadar: yeh...youll read about itChipmunk: SpongeBob, eh?PrincessKadar: yehPrincessKadar: now im just looking for something that will explain the black zodiac to me in more specific terms...i might try the library when i get up laterPrincessKadar: i still have to clean tonitePrincessKadar: soChipmunk: that sucks.PrincessKadar: nehPrincessKadar: cant sleep, might as well do somethigPrincessKadar: something*PrincessKadar: i cant type...damned wrist...PrincessKadar: damned limp...PrincessKadar: DAMN EVERYTHINGPrincessKadar: grrr...PrincessKadar: lolChipmunk: hehe growlerPrincessKadar: grrPrincessKadar: ::pulls out bronx accent::PrincessKadar: dont piss me awfChipmunk: you keep unusual hoursPrincessKadar: i always havePrincessKadar: ::sigh:: and besides, im still waiting for your reaction once you get down to the entry before all the quizzesChipmunk: you mean about screwing things up with Chipmunk?PrincessKadar: pretty much dudeChipmunk: yeah what's up with that?PrincessKadar: exactly what i said...i almost fukked up againPrincessKadar: made ebon feel really bad and shit...Chipmunk: so almost but didn't?PrincessKadar: nopeChipmunk: so how is Ebon?PrincessKadar: he went home upset because i was upset...hes gonna call me and try to come over again before i go. if he doesnt, well, he's gonna wait until i come back upChipmunk: do you wonder why you're alive?PrincessKadar: sometimesChipmunk: and who is this best friend you found?PrincessKadar: The Nudist...that's his nickname...Chipmunk:: cool. I must go nowPrincessKadar: okay...yur not pissed then?Chipmunk:: well I am. my trembling figure is a good indication of that. it happens when I forgive a lot. the more I forgive the worse it gets when bad stuff happensPrincessKadar: yeah...i just couldnt believe it...all of the sudden i just though, dude, what the hell am i doing? i cant screw this up...Chipmunk: your behavior sound like mine in some of my dreams. I screw things up every now and then in my sleep and get all worried but I can always wake up and realize it never happened. you on the other hand can'tPrincessKadar: i just need to stop seeing anyone...period...PrincessKadar: all i do is screw things up when im around anyone elseChipmunk: that is one possible solution but it doesn't sound like it would be much of a way to live. but I must see how you are around mePrincessKadar: how did i seem down there?PrincessKadar: i mean, ill never stop flirting...i dont realize im doing it half the timePrincessKadar: but...when im with someone, i dont fuck around...not usually...when im drunk its a WHOLE other storyChipmunk: you seemed at ease for the most part. you just lead a different life than what I'm used to. its my adventurous side that seeks out the new which has made me a more tolerant and open minded personPrincessKadar: my adventurous side gets me into a bunch of shit...hence the reason im usually singleChipmunk: heh good ol adventure. but now I really must goPrincessKadar: okay...PrincessKadar: have a good day at work...as good as it can beChipmunk: tomorrow is delivery only so it shouldn't be too bad. I get the morning offPrincessKadar: coolChipmunk: so I can contact you during a daylight hourChipmunk: yayPrincessKadar: its cool...im probably going to sleep most of the dayChipmunk: good night and sweet dreamsPrincessKadar: night hun...love you...Chipmunk: i love you too hun, take careThe bullshit that is like, just general stuff has been taken out, of course. But that's pretty much what the conversation consisted of. I don't know what to think. And Nudist is like, not around to discuss it with. I miss him. Want to go to his house, but it's like, 2 hours away, Reading or something. And then there's Sean and his brother in Bloomsburg...Dammit, why is it that when other people need to talk, they always find me, no matter where I'm at, yet when I want to talk, nobody is around? And like, Chipmunk just got on again, but he's not saying anything...what happened to sleep? But...I'm gonna go clean. I doubt anybody will read this or really even care anyway, so...why bother? After the novelty runs off, I'm sure it won't be as interesting. And I still have the cheap imitation on ddrsa! YAYISH! Wow...bad attempts at chearing myself up. It's not working. I really AM wondering why I'm alive now...DAMN YOU APHRODITE!!!!