Wow....

Wow. I just had this crazy dream during my nap. In it me and a guy were like, talking, then all of the sudden we got close. And I mean CLOSE! We walked to the end of the yard, and then he's got me pinned against the wall about to fuck me, and my parents come walking down to work on the fountain. My mom's friend looks at us and said, "Ya know guys, I think Snoopy intervened in this for a reason." My mom agreed and told me maybe I should go to bed. I looked at her and was like, "I'm 19 in a few days, and YOU'RE telling ME to go to bed? I'm leaving for TX in..." and I woke up. The weird thing is, I'm not telling my mom until the day I leave. I don't live with her or answer to her, so what's it matter? The bad thing is, I know who the guy in my dream was. He doesn't know that I like him, but if he had gotten to me before Chipmunk, I wouldn't be going down. I like him a lot. I'm just not sure how to tell him. I think he might suspect, but hey, let's keep it that way. DJ Lite will fuck my ass up if I screw things up with Chipmunk. I mean, everyone is all of the sudden convinced that we are going to marry. Dee especially. He and I said our official goodbyes tonite, because he said that he wanted to get away with giving me one last kiss goodbye. He went and saw Cee today, and amazingly, she told him she knew it would happen eventually, and that she didn't mind because it was me. So I can go see her without fear of verbal whiplash. She'd also have forgiven him if more had happened. I just wish that it could have been that way with me and Chipmunk. Luckily he knows that me and Dee are great friends, and we were just fucking around to test each other. But anywho. Kyraeus is telling me that I have to make a choice about my dream. Apparently I have avoided thinking about it, so now that Chipmunk will be here in less than 24 hours, it's coming back to bite me in the ass. Yeah, Chipmunk left today. I love him soooo much for doing this. My only thing is that I won't see the guy that I'm talkin about. Maybe this is a good thing. Because if I stay with Chipmunk, I get freedom and all my dreams come true. Almost all anyway. If I stay here, I'll be happy with this guy, but I'll sacrifice freedom. I mean, I don't even know how to approach the subject that I like him. Should I tell him? It might get it off my chest...But I'm gonna go, apparently the nap wasn't enough. I talked to Dee for a little, he came by to drop off my rabbit, and I was still tired then. It's worse now. I'm just nervous...very much so. But I hope to write one more time before I go, so look for it then!~Lioness~